I have never been the best at anything.
Sure, I took first place a couple times in karate tournaments, but I never made it to championship level.
I was always an average student. I have often joked that I was the average intelligence kid with an above average ambition. I liked being in the AP classes though I barely scraped by.
As I look through my life, I see a history of average. I am (or was) not hugely popular. I’m not strikingly beautiful. I’m not greatly athletic. My talents are unimpressive. It may appear that I have great abilities or talents, but it’s really a mirage. I just like trying lots of things and I’m not usually afraid of failing, so it gives the appearance that I am above average. Again, it goes back to my average abilities with an above average ambition.
Even my family can give the impression of greatness. Sure, the size of my family is above average but other than that, we are pretty average. Our intelligence, success, skills and talents register about right in the middle. Even our spirituality or holiness would be considered below average to some. Oh well.
I am not upset about being average.
Well, maybe once in a while I would like to be the one with 1,000,000 hits on a post or be sought for advice, but in the end, average is just fine. In fact, I wonder if being average is where it’s at. I’m not endorsing a blasé, indifferent approach on life. I’m not saying we shouldn’t pursue life with a full throttle toward greatness. I’m saying it’s ok being yourself.
God is the great mathematician. Somehow He can take my effort, whether it’s a great effort or one that lacks a bit, and my very average results and compute it all into the equation He needs. Somehow, God uses my best average in above average ways.
I have moments when my over ripe ambition gets frustrated with my lacking results. I want to be better respected, more regarded, skinnier and prettier. I want my blogs to go viral or my dreams to be fully acquired... NOW. I get tired of my attempts toward greatness being thwarted. But in those moments when I feel defeated I must remember that the best compliment I can give God is to be fully human. (Thanks Rich Mullins for that idea.)
God made me human, not super human.
Sure, it seems that there are some people who appear super human in certain ways. They may have mega minds or beauty found in Greek literature. All of their endeavors seem to prosper and their kids can even sing the entire mass in Latin. I can’t explain why this is so. But it’s ok.
I know my best average is more usable to God than someone else’s mediocre superiority. I had a quote hanging on my door years ago. My inferior memory can not remember which saint said it or exactly what it said, but it went something like this. “Our job is to do our best, the rest is none of our business.” In other words, I have to take my eyes off the end results. I need to keep plugging away doing the best I can do without a concern about what happens in the end.
So, what’s the point? The point is that I need to keep my eyes to myself. I need to keep doing what I need to do even if the results are not impressive. God is not concerned with how many people follow me on Twitter. He doesn’t care about my waist size or the cellulite that has decorated my legs. He doesn’t care if my children or myself have IQs in the 150s. My income, book sales, size of speaking gigs, or even style of wardrobe doesn’t matter to Him. He uses anything we have to offer as long as it’s the best effort we can give.
I will continue in my best average existence. I will be the best average person I can. God’s ok with that.